5 out of 5 stars

Short and to the Point

Reviewed in the United States on March 11, 2021

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This is not a long read, it is short and to the point. I feel like the recommendations are helpful, but I would have liked more specific “real world” examples of how to say and implement certain situations. The author gives several helpful recommendations for further reading and in-depth study.

*Dr. Gilchrist Response:
I kept the main part of the book focused on laying out the approach, then I gave an extensive Question and Answer section afterwards to address the most common questions and concerns brought up to me over the years with this approach. This is in line with the common real-life discussions I have with clients in my office after I present this approach to them. I wanted my book to be similar to my back-and-forth discussions with real life clients in my therapy office. Almost as if I having a conversation with my readers. A thorough Q and A section accomplishes that better than extensive examples.

4 out of 5 stars

Love the break-down of the six things men want/need

Reviewed in the United States on March 27, 2021

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I love that this book is a quick read with a lot of information given. I really enjoyed and have started employing the six things men need. All of them are incredibly true when you look at it and it is a great reminder. Men want us to be happy and pretty, hang out with them and give them some space. Easy right?! It is, but sometimes I think we all slip (covid sweatpants anyone??). While the carrot and stick method both seem a bit more blunt than my approach, I agree whole heartedly that men and women need positive and negative consequences for our actions. I also agree with not negotiating, arguing, etc. I've had to utilize the tough love approach recently (these are my needs, if you do not want to meet them, then I have to walk away). As hard as it is, it is a lesson in being true to yourself, not being a doormat and setting boundaries. I do wish that something that is brought up in the Q&A section would have made it into the main body. How do you know if you're being too demanding? If you aren't willing to do it yourself, then you shouldn't demand it of them. So if you expect to get a girls night every week but he can't have a guys night? Flag! All told, I would definitely give this a read.

*Dr. Gilchrist Response:
Learning and implementing the main things that men tend to be motivated by in relationships is arguably the most valuable part of the book. Without knowing that, it can be very challenging for women to effectively influence men.

5 out of 5 stars

Practical advice

Reviewed in the United States on March 23, 2021

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This introductory book gives practical advice on influencing and motivating the men in your life. The easy to read resource provides clear steps to follow and references for further reading. I look forward to using some of the author’s techniques.

*Dr. Gilchrist Response:
Yes, my focus in the book was to offer the most practical and user-friendly ideas as possible, based on what has worked with my clients over the years.

5 out of 5 stars

Very good book

Reviewed in the United States on March 18, 2021

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This was a very interesting book for dealing with men. I am eager to try some of the suggestions in the book. I have had difficult relationships with men and this is a good resource.

*Dr. Gilchrist Response:
Well to be fair, women often struggle with men but men also tend to struggle with women as well. I think I will write a book for men next...

3 out of 5 stars

Some good. Some bad.

Reviewed in the United States on February 9, 2021

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The author gives some advice. The only problem is he sometimes mistakes how you should treat a man with how you should treat a child. Many of the statements he makes would work well with a child, but are more are likely to be insulting for any man of reasonable intelligence. Still, I thought the section of what men like was pretty good. Being in a good mood and making him feel good about himself will almost always go a long way. I also liked that he emphasized being brief. Being overly detailed often drives men nuts. Overall, not a terrible book, but there are some questionable methods.

*Dr. Gilchrist Response:
In over 2 decades of talking to men and couples about being approached with the ideas in my book, I have never had a man in my office who was offended or insulted by my ideas. Not even once. Instead, my male clients were quite motivated to have their wives/girlfriends use the positive assertive communication/influencing skills from the book to promote change. They (the men) very much prefer the ideas I suggest (reflected in this book) over whatever other efforts she had been making prior to the therapy that clearly weren’t working very well: yelling, arguing, nagging, extended and long discussions, lectures, expecting him to just know, pouting, hinting, etc. A notable reason these couples were in my office in the first place was because the previous efforts she was making with him weren’t working. So instead of the reaction sureshot was concerned about (that men would be insulted or offended somehow), the actual response to my ideas is enthusiasm and hopefulness. Finally, remember that I am a man too. As a fellow man and father to 4 sons, I would never promote an approach that is insulting to men. Only helpful.